Listen! It’s an unpopular opinion amongst those that celebrate and cherish December 25th yearly. I didn’t say, “BAH-HUMBUG, I hate Christmas“. I said simply that I was Not Crazy For Christmas, that is all.
Before you ask if I’m Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist or any other faith that doesn’t celebrate Christmas, I can assure you, I’m not. Christmas isn’t my favorite, nor has it ever been, once I put some thought to it. Once you read my explanation, you’ll gain some understanding as to why.
By the way, my favorite yearly holiday is Independence Day in the United States. July 4th of any given year, because it’s summertime, generally everyone is in a good mood and feeling patriotic! Either that or shit-housed drunk over the weekend.
I digress …
Filipinos and Christmas
The joke around the campfire is Filipinos tend to celebrate Christmas in every month that ends with “ber”. I tried to confirm this with my family in the Philippines (yes, I truly am an American-Filipino)
My mother was a tried and true, dyed in wool, Filipino who loved Christmastime! She really did. It was no surprise to me that she passed away a week before Christmas in 1997. To our modest family, she was the embodiment of the Christmas spirit.
Seriously.
Dad, Charrina, and I would groan, piss and moan, when it was Thanksgiving Day Weekend, because we knew what promptly followed … Christmas decorations, music, and more. And the pictures. My Mom loved the family photo with suit, ties, and dresses. It was mandatory!
So my foundational Christmas memories were pleasant, and more importantly, not trauma inducing. We were a typical middle-class, “nuclear” family in a suburban house. I learned quickly that Santa’s Wish List was only a guideline, not necessarily a shopping list. In my kid logic mind, anything short of that was a disappointment.
The neighborhood parents allocated more disposable income for Christmas presents so “show and tell” in our cul-de-sac meant one-upmanship. For example, if I had Snake Eyes, the G.I. Joe action figure, then the other kids would have that action figure, others, and Jeep.
Never got those “warm, fuzzy feelings” around Christmas time. Even with winter break from school, it still wasn’t my favorite with the dankness of snow, cloudy weather that more often than not was rain, more hours of darkness than sunshine. And the cold, ugh. The cold temperatures etching themselves into my bones.
There was the time I contracted chicken pox mid-December. So that’s fun.
After Carina Christmases
Starting in 1998, and with Charlene Connor, Christmas was a very procedural, transaction based and devoid of fun, and love type of event. Dad, and Charrina, were still searching for closure about Mom’s death, therefore didn’t want anything to do with Christmas.
To Charlene, Christmas Lists were quid pro quo, and to be followed to the detail. She was the AAA Washington Membership Accounting Supervisor so Christmas was a financial line item to be “dealt with”, and of course, budgeted all year long for.
To say the least, the Christmas magic / love / spirit was sucked outta me. No surprises underneath the plastic Christmas Tree that she insisted on buying as to not dirty her carpet. You didn’t go rogue from the pre-planned list of items.
As I said, procedural, clinical, lifeless Christmases … YAY!
Then we add in the annual trip to Aunt Nancy, Uncle Steve and the Henjum clan in Spokane, WA. I-90 travel was different each year; sometimes treacherous, sometimes pleasant. However, it was 4-hours each way, with the same Christmas CD played. (yes, you read that correct – Compact Disc of a Christmas NOW Music)
That said, I’m absolutely grateful for these experiences. Don’t get that twisted. But again, I’m NOT Crazy For Christmas, yet.
Christmas 2008 – 2015
After the tyranny of Charlene, I was rudderless for Christmas celebration. I realized I didn’t fully separate my Mom’s death from Christmas. In my mind, she WAS Christmas! When she died, Christmas died. I didn’t wanna shit on anyone else’s Christmas fun, so I would dissociate and/or disconnect from my loved ones.
WCP and I would soldier through Friendsmas experiences, but our hearts were not aglow. We were the orphans of that year’s given family. We were welcomed, included, loved, and showered with gifts. All of which, we were grateful, appreciated, and we reciprocated.
Friendsmas is a festive celebration that combines the spirit of Christmas with a group of close friends. It’s similar to Friendsgiving and Galentine’s Day. Friendsmas is a time to eat, drink, give gifts, and enjoy the holiday season with friends.
In quiet moments left to us, with one look exchange we know it just wasn’t the same.
Bastion of Bayne
In July 2016, I purchased a house in Lake Stevens, WA. Yay! My sister and I were living together again. This time in a permanent address. Once again, we found ourselves unscripted for the upcoming Christmas.
I suggested, “FAWK IT. Let’s combine my Christmas traditions, with yours (Charrina) and … start new traditions!”
Tabula Rasa Day would be celebrated at Bastion of Bayne, that we could watch Die Hard, and Die Hard 2: Die Harder, with WCP’s matching pajama photo. Then we decided to add a live Christmas Tree to our traditions. As in, go to a Christmas Tree farm, roam around, agree on a candidate chop it down and drag it back to B.o.B. with Old Man Greyson [1989 Dodge Dakota pickup truck]
Then, I decided it was a good idea to date again. Oh, and for some reason, I focused on mothers.
Last Christmas …
Hopefully, all y’all are not playing #WHAMageddon this year, and reading this post. But Christmases and in-love relationships were never a pairing for me. So what my heart is seeking is “she loves me, AND in love with me” with me “in love with her AND love her”.
From 2016 to 2022, it was a mismatch of 2 or 3 of those combinations but never all 4 that I needed, ultimately really wanting. *SIGH* Each of those relationships eventually ended, thankfully amicably or at least peacefully. The last one, literally the day after Christmas (2022)!
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away (You gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (Special)
I moved to Arizona in 2023, so it was Friendsmas at Camp Wilde last year. And no, I didn’t kick it with my flatmates / roommates / roomies / landlord (House Boss) of Brett, and Sterling. We just don’t have that connection. At least we put up a communal tree that Brett had in his attic.
No room decorations, Christmas lights in my bedroom, zero, nothing. NOT. CRAZY. FOR. CHRISTMAS.
Every Day Is Christmas
If you’ve been my friend, family, or at least followed this blog for any length of time, I am not one for lofty dreamy, fantasies about love, and/or life. There’s no such thing at love-at-first-sight, or Hallmark Christmas movie stories that are real-life.
It’s the aloof, pragmatic, Aquarian male thinking inside of me.
My DNA, headstrong, defend my fragile heart that’s been put together with duct tape, bailing wire, gum, hopes and dreams. Imagine my paradigm shift in thoughts, and perspective when I started dating Principal Jen!
I thought, “This seems like my last ‘first kiss’. Could be the last time I fall in love with someone?” My mind was SCREAMING! “Why would you even do that? Don’t you dare let down your guard? Remember the last time that happened?”
Six months later, instead of catching flights, I caught feelings AFTER I caught a flight to Washington.
Every Day Is Christmas
All the magic of December’s like a circus leaving town
All I wanna do is follow it around
Cause everybody wishes it was Christmas all year ’round
To wake up every morning with a present in my bed
That’s how I been feeling since the moment we first metI don’t need the snow to fall
I don’t need the lights to shine
I don’t need a mistletoe cause I’ll still kiss you all the time.
We don’t have to take a sleigh ride
For our hearts to race inside
I still get just as excited when we go to sleep at night
Every day is Christmas as long as everyday you are mine.Spring is coming but the air is chill
It reminds me of the winter fires that we would always build
Hiding from the cold it’s always warmer in your arms
Whenever you are kissing me it’s Christmas in my heart.
I don’t need the snow to fall
I don’t need the lights to shine
I don’t need a mistletoe cause I’ll still kiss you all the time
We don’t have to take a sleigh ride
For our hearts to race inside
I still get just as excited when we go to sleep at night
Every day is Christmas as long as everyday you are mine
I’ll be dreaming
I believe itNow January doesn’t bring me down
Cause the magic of December’s always here when you’re aroundNo we don’t need the snow to fall
We don’t need the lights to shine
We don’t need a mistletoe cause we’ll be kissing all the time
We don’t have to take a sleigh ride
For our hearts to race inside
We still get just as excited when we go to sleep at night
Every day is Christmas as long as every day you are mineEvery day is Christmas
Every day is Christmas
Every day you are mine
Every day is Christmas
Every day is Christmas
You are mine
Every day, every day
You are mine
You are mine
You are mine
You are mine
Real talk! I’m in love with, and love, Principal Jen. Yes, Jen Welch, and vice versa for her. To be separated at Christmastime from her is possibly worse than years past of being in a loveless relationship. For once in my life, I’m looking forward to Christmas. By next year, I’ll be CRAZY FOR CHRISTMAS.
For Jen, I set up a Christmas Tree, decorated it, adorned the front door with a wreath, and a little extra. Just wait for what I bought her for Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Yule, Boxing Day, and Zarathosht Diso to all!
los, Fil-Am Renaissance Man 