One of my co-workers hit me up about dating. I had a besmirched smile on my face the entire conversation.

“Yo, Los,” they announced. “Over the past 10 month I have gotten to know you.”

I smiled, “And?”

“You generally talk about the subjects on your mind or at least relevant situations. But I haven’t heard you talk about dating or personal matter.”

I cleared my throat, “Well, thank you for learning my idiosyncrasies. It’s true, I usually keep my personal life to myself. I imposed a 1-year pause on dating in order to truly settle into the Arizona life. Now that I’m quickly approaching that 1-year deadline, I’ve concluded a few ideas.”

Then? Our conversation was interrupted by work, while at work. Imagine that!

I played out the remainder of the conversation in my mind.

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Investment Dating

Dating is an investment. As a heterosexual male in American society it’s a considerable investment. It’s an all encompassing endeavor, too. Society expects me to invest time, money and energy.

Ok, fine then. With my investment, there is an expected Return On Investment [ROI] That’s right; ROI. So what would it be? At the very least, a committed relationship to start that eventually develops into a marriage , or long term relationship.

YEESH. In my experience, matters of the heart / the human condition, the results are temporary or even fluid. That’s a high-risk ROI if I ever heard of one. Three facets to consider: money, time, and energy.

Money: Pay for the dates, the entertaining, the experiences.

Time: Time spent on dating apps, or in-person flirtation at social areas and communicating (phone calls, text messages, etc)

Energy: Devoting your energy, and focus on finding a partner.

Well, I’ve already invested these three things a dozen times or so. My ROI for those, you ask? A patchwork quilt of tape, bailing wire, and gum of a broken heart and failed relationships! All of them, that’s what.

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INNER PEACE

Over the past year, I have developed peace. No drama, no bad vibes, no negativity. At this time, I’m unwilling to exchange my peace for a piece (of a$$) If anything, my next partner should enhance my peace, not destroy it.

In fact, the past four partners initiated contact, and the flirtation. Honestly, that’s great for me. I know they are genuinely interested / attracted to me (I’m probably a great candidate for Bumble)

I lamented out loud at work, to a different co-worker, “I might not be active, but I’m not celibate. Parked cars get hit, too, ya know!”

Everyone within earshot giggled. For now, I’ll haveta settle for a meet cute.