There’s been a recent coupling at my work place. It’s a warehouse with hundreds of employees; nothing new. What’s new is the discovery caused a impromptu poll of the peeps for our individual opinions on the matter. My eyebrows arched, my interest was piqued.

“Whatcha think, Los?”

I’ve had three workplace romances, almost a fourth in recent years. None of them worked out (pun intended) so I’m not the patron saint of high ideals. And to say anything disparaging would make me a sanctimonious asshole! So I replied …

“Based on my experiences, I wouldn’t recommend dipping your pen in company ink. That said, to each their own.”

Rules of Attraction

Workplace romances are inevitable. Humans are social beings, so by mere-exposure (see below) to the same folks daily and over a prolonged amount of time, there will be coupling.

Two of the fundamentals of romance are: intimacy and familiarity.

Intimacy isn’t just physical. It can be in the form of emotional, spiritual, or intellectual intimacy. The tendency is physical though. Many surveys have been conducted to study this dynamic. Depending on the survey the percentages vary but the conclusions are the same.

mere-exposure effect the finding that individuals show an increased preference (or liking) for a stimulus as a consequence of repeated exposure to that stimulus. This effect is most likely to occur when there is no preexisting negative attitude toward the stimulus object, and it tends to be strongest when the person is not consciously aware of the stimulus presentations.

identified in 1968 by Robert B. Zajonc

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• 85 – 90% of the respondents reported that infidelity began at work
• 89 – 91% of the respondents said they have felt an attraction to a co-worker
• 78% of the respondents have considered dating a co-worker, and 58% of them eventually did date
• 67% of the respondents stated they were aware of a co-worker who created on their partners with another co-worker

Those are just the highlights I mentioned while researching workplace romance statistics.

My First Time

I was working for Payless Drug Store as a supervisor. We hired a new girl to be a cashier, Teagan. She shared with me that Teagan is Welsh for beautiful. In my eyes, she certainly was beautiful. She was a 6 foot 1 inch brunette that had legs for days and a brilliant smile.

I didn’t think she would say yes, but I asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee with me. To my surprise, she readily accepted. It was blissful for the first few months. We didn’t work the same hours, and it was in the last 1990’s. Mobile phones were not readily available to the masses.

You literally had to talk with one another, or call each other. IMAGINE THAT!

I foolishly moved into a rental house with her, and good friend of mine after I quit Payless and was hired at AAA Express Travel Center. A few months later, my mom died from cancer which was the catalyst for a shitshow to end all shitshows.

I broke up with Teagan, my friend and I were estranged from that moment, and it was all my fault.

Those Who Do Not Learn History Are Doomed To Repeat It

Clearly, I’m an idiot for love, and attraction. I would repeat this mistake twice more in my life. The second time I went so far as to marry her, only for it to end in divorce 9 years later.

The very next relationship was a work crush I had, and acted on it. Lord, give me strength.

Mercifully, I would find several other relationships outside of the realm of work. I finally understood the lesson to be learned: Do. NOT. Dip. Your. Pen. In. Company. Ink!

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So Spaceship Earth, what are your thoughts on workplace romance? Yay, or nay? Do you recommend working with your spouse, S/O, etc? I would love to hear the comments!