Paradigm Shift of Priorities

On January 1, 2020, I turned over my iPhone named J.O.A.N. [Just Open And Network] to watch the phone line end to a nasty conversation I had spoken two words in: Hey stranger.

In that moment, I decided that I will make a fundamental change in my life. A paradigm shift of priorities … not because it was New Year’s Day either.

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Inexplicably I held on to the dream of selling everything I owned, moving to a different state like Texas, build up the ’empire’ I have here, and met the woman of my dreams. Or chase after my crush that I have long known that she friend-zoned me.

Again in that moment of utter loneliness and despair even though I was literally in the middle of a Geocaching Event, I had an epiphany. A moment of truth, a blinding realization, a raw Man In The Mirror recognition: I need to do something immediately different with my life.

Man In The Mirror

I’m gonna make a change,
For once I’m my life
It’s gonna feel real good
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right

Those old institutions of thinking were holding me back from fully committing to anything. I gritted my teeth to mentally get it through my skull, “I’ll never have another partner, as I will die alone.“

Therefore I should focus my attention on my house to make it a comfortable tomb for the remaining years on Spaceship Earth.

As I turn up the collar on
My favorite winter coat

This wind is blowing my mind
I see the kids in the streets
With not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind?
Pretending not to see their needs

In February 2020, interest rates for 30 year fixed home loans were at a historic low – 3.5%. I would spend the rest of the year processing the refinancing loan that converted to a rehabiliation loan to finance 3 major projects: new roof, new exterior paint, and new flooring. It’s a long story of which I’ll spare you the gory details!

The first of my priorities: build myself a comfortable tomb.

Tabula Rasa Day

In 2008, I declared December 1st as Tabula Rasa Day – [‘tabula rasa’ is Latin for “blank slate”] Why?

It was the first day, of the first month, of the first year, of the rest of my life – that’s why.

• Q: What is Tabula Rasa Day?
• A: I created a holiday to celebrate inner freedom to start over. I declared December 1st , as Tabula Rasa [‘tabula rasa’ is Latin for “blank slate”] Why? It’s the first day, of the first month, of the first year, of the rest of my life

• Q: Why ‘Tabula Rasa Day’, ‘los? Why not blank slate day or something easier to digest?
• A: Most languages are based in Latin, therefore English. I created the holiday for myself – a day to challenge myself to be introspective, or perhaps run head long into a challenge. Most importantly, it’s NOT A RESOLUTION DAY LIKE NEW YEARS!

My Tabula Rasa Day Declaration in 2020 was to finish my Geocaching Jasmer Challenge.

A summer’s  disregard, a broken bottle top
And one man’s soul
They follow each other on the wind ya’ know
‘Cause they got nowhere to go

The second priority: my happiness.

That’s why I want you to know
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

If I focused on my improving my house until I was actually proud of it, WHILE I concentrate on my happiness then I’ll have everything, right? Right!

I could no longer find happiness with a partner, even if I wanted one.

I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love
It’s time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me, pretending that they’re not alone?

A willow deeply scarred, somebody’s broken heart
And a washed-out dream
They follow the pattern of the wind ya’ see
‘Cause they got no place to be

I resigned myself to work as well. I may not like what I do for a wage, in fact, I loathe it. However, it directly provides the financial means to improve my tomb, and bankrolls the game I love to play, Geocaching.

All the other activities I was engaged with didn’t further any of those priorities. Since COVID-19 global pandemic started in 2020, and continues to rage across the planet, I remained focused on them.

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That’s why I’m starting with me
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

With those apex priorities, I purchased a newer vehicle to be my daily commuter, yet have the ability to drive to trails to hike, bike, camp, etc. The famed Sapphire Sled had long exceeded it’s economic life, and symbolic need for me: girl magnet. Women over 30 are not impressed with your vehicle, they are impressed with your reliable transportation.

On January 1, 2021 I peered at my newer phone I had purchased iPhone 12 PRO that I named Blu [Pacific Blue] For the most part, it was quiet. Free of drama, free of notifications from work, and peaceful.

So … is this what happens when I enjoy a paradigm shift in priorities? I should’ve done this sooner.

‘los