Every December, people assume my favorite holiday tradition is something cozy or conventional. But no — My tradition is explosions, broken glass, desperate hostages, and Bruce Willis crawling through vents like a deranged holiday elf. For 33 straight years, my sister WCP and I have watched Die Hard and Die Hard 2 every December. It started with a high-school gift — VHS tapes packaged inside a replica of Nakatomi Plaza — and it became our annual ritual.

Hearing him mutter from inside the vent: “Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…” and later: “Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.”

Several years ago, my friend Mary R invited me to a quirky little stage parody called A Very Die Hard Christmas at Bathhouse Theater on Greenlake (Seattle, WA) I went in with low expectations and came out absolutely blown away. Smart. Chaotic. Clever. Hilarious. It instantly became a December must-do. Fast forward: two years in Arizona meant I missed out.

I returned to Washington — and I finally got to bring my sister with me for her first viewing.

My third time.
Her first time.
Mary’s “I’ve lost count, TBH” time.

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A Very Die Hard Christmas

The show was everything I remembered — rapid-fire jokes, low-budget brilliance, Die Hard references layered like Christmas wrapping paper, musical numbers that shouldn’t work but absolutely DO (Come out to the coast …) , and a cast that knows exactly how ridiculous and joyful this show is supposed to be.

But truthfully? The highlight wasn’t the show.

It was sitting beside my sister — the co-keeper of the Die Hard December tradition — and watching her laugh, react, gasp, and grin through every absurd, over-the-top moment.

Experiencing the play through her eyes felt like watching our childhood tradition take on a new life.

The Bathhouse Theater’s intimacy made everything feel electric — the kind of up-close, “we’re all-in-this-together” energy that only small theaters can pull off.

I return year-over-year because each production is different. That’s one of the most joyful parts of this parody — catching the subtle tweaks, listening for swapped-out jokes, watching the set evolve, catching new 80s references after the old ones get retired. Squirt gun and NERF guns add to the chaos. The Christmas ornaments as the explosion scene at the top of Nakatomi Tower was awesome.

This year’s upgrades were chef’s kiss:

• A newly built tall wall with TWO vents and working doors
  
• A perfect recreation of McClane’s crawlspace moment
  
• And the line we all wait for: “Come out to the coast, we’ll have a few drinks…
  Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.”
  

The audience LOVED it.

And the creative team clearly loves remixing the decade that birthed the movie. This year the 80s villain/rogues gallery included Huey Lewis & The News, Vidal Sassoon, and a handful of surprise deep cuts. (It’s the little things that make repeat viewers like me grin before the joke even lands.)

Yippee-Ki-Yay, Seattle. See you next December!