The book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman is still used as a measuring stick since it’s publication in 1992. I think your ‘love language’ can be used to express all forms of love: Eros (sexual passion), Philia (deep friendship), Ludus (playful love), Agape (love for everyone), Pragma (longstanding love), Philautia (love of the self), Storge (family love), and Mania (obsessive love)

I’ve never been asked what my love language is, so up until last month, I didn’t research my answer. When Principal Jen asked what my love language was, I did some right-quick research.

An online survey / test confirmed my suspicion: Words of Affirmation. I have 2 published books, this online blog that has 200+ weeks of posts, and lastly, daily posts on my socials.

I replied to her text my love language, per a generic online test, is Words of Affirmation. I continued with, that said, I have an elaborated answer if you’re game … that was a purposely loaded question. She’s a student of life, and perhaps even, of me, so she text back: Say more.

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Music Soothes The Savage Beast

I’ve stated several times on several posts that I’m a loud and proud, Tisoy. Music and song have been an important part of my life from ‘minute one’. Moreover, I’m confident I was born with a rice cooker in one hand, and a microphone in the other.

My first experience with music, song and love was local radio stations, my ‘boom box’ and a Memorex cassette tape. Yessir, one of thousands, hundred of thousands musically inclined Casanovas trying to swoon their hearts desire.

I learned about cross-fading songs first hand as the radio host would literally talk up until the first beat of the song I wanted. If you weren’t making a mixed cassette for your own amusement, it was for the girl you’re trying to impress.

This staple of the American 1980’s pop culture! A prime example was the movie, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume I. Star-Lord’s mother gifted him a mixed cassette on the night she died. I curated so many tapes that I couldn’t begin to recall how many I actually did.

By 1992, there was a paradigm shift in consumer format from cassette tape to compact disc (CD)

The process didn’t change for me. I still wrote a list of songs I wanted on the CD, knowing the maximum limit is 12 – 13 songs. Instead of a portable radio, I used a computer to ‘burn CDs’. Once burned, the CD couldn’t be changed like a casting cement. If you experienced an imperfection in the process, you started over.

It was a lengthy process to ‘burn’. Also, blank CDs were prohibitively expensive for teenagers without jobs. So to handover a CD to your muse meant everything to the publisher. Literally, their feelings are not on their sleeves but the sleeve of the CD cover.

See what I did there?

By early 2000’s, another paradigm shift happened …

The music file format for most artists is *.mp3 – so the shift from CDs to MP3 players was a natural evolution of the music industry. The war between Microsoft Zune and Macintosh iPod began in earnest! The music, and song existed digitally.

No longer did you hold a vinyl record, 8-track tape, cassette tape, or Compact Disc. That said, you created playlists with the digital songs. And to this day, some 20 years later, playlists are king.

I circled back to her question about my love language. I answered that it’s similar to the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, that it isn’t black and white, it’s all the shades of grey in-between. So that while my first inclination and/or preference are Words of Affirmation, I also have percentage of Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gifts, and Quality Time.

It’s no secret that I was an entertainer, and DJ for a handful of years. Playlist creation based on an over-arcing theme is breathing for me. To date, I have 20+ Spotify playlists for all types of situations. So as Principal Jen and I exchanged a flurry of text messages, and the occasional phone call, I secretly curated a Spotify playlist for us.

Then I hit her with the coup de grâce.

The Sixth Love Language: Music & Song

I shared with her that at Eva’s suggestion, there’s a sixth love language, Music & Song. The ultimate expression of self through song. It’s a conduit of emotions, so to use that in-between two souls that are physically separated by distance it’s enough to buoy the relationship.

Since I curated it, I also built in flexibility by tagging her as a collaborator. Again, collaborated efforts yield better results! I posted it on Spotify as The Principal’s Office.

She LOVED it, y’all!

We’ve been rocking it ever since. Oh, if you think I’m done, you’re wrong. I add one or two songs every day or every other day. The run time for it, as of this writing, is 4 hours 53 minutes. Actually, it’s time for me to run along, and add yet another song.