I recently learned that a long standing Geocaching Event is now on hiatus after this year was done: The Tri-Cities Geocoin Challenge. While I understand, I still regret that I didn’t attend more than just the one.

It reminded of a time that I went to a GWAR concert with my High School buddy, Marty Jaso. If you’ve never been to one, you should attend one! They are highly entertaining! Lemme tell ya about the first, last and only GWAR concert I rocked …

I Declare GWAR!

I didn’t know anything about the band, but knew Marty had the pulse of a good time so I readily accepted his concert offer.

One of those bands was GWAR. The band has consistently answered that the letters are not an acronym or stand for anything. Gwar, often stylized as GWAR, is an American heavy metal band formed in Richmond, Virginia in 1984, composed of and operated by a frequently rotating line-up of musicians, artists, and filmmakers collectively known as Slave Pit Inc. Since the death of frontman and lead singer Dave Brockie in 2014, the group has continued recording and performing without any of its founding members.

Identified by their distinctively grotesque costumes, Gwar’s core thematic and visual concept revolves around an elaborate science fiction-themed mythology which portrays the band members as barbaric interplanetary warriors, a narrative which serves as the basis for all of the band’s albums, live shows and media. With over-the-top violent, sexual, and scatological humor typically incorporating social and political satire, Gwar has attracted both acclaim and controversy for its music and stage shows, the latter of which notoriously showcase enactments of graphic violence that result in the audience being sprayed with fake blood, urine, and semen. Such stagecraft regularly leads Gwar to be labeled a “shock rock” band by the media.

DV8

Back in the day when this story takes place, DV8 was an all-ages club venue in the Seattle area. Most of us called in the Meat Market. They would host live music from punk to electronic dance to rock and every genre in-between.

We drove down to Seattle in his sky blue 1970 Ford Mustang fastback. To this day, I’m disappointed that car alone didn’t get him more play from the ladies of Mountlake Terrace, Lynnwood, Edmonds area.

I digress.

May 18, 1999. Christdriver, and Godhead were the opening acts. I don’t remember a single experience of the opening acts, but I definitely knew when GWAR took the stage! I was mildly scared, yet curious. There was so much visual erotica that my brain couldn’t process it fast enough.

As the show progress the band members dragged a hose of sorts towards the front of the stage. Marty led us to the area they announced as the Splash Zone. Excuse me, I thought?

Before I could withdraw from my position, the penis shaped and colored hose was shooting out a white, foamy material from the head into the crowd gathered in front of it. I was coated from head to toe!

It was the grunge metal version of Gallagher’s Sledge-O-Matic!

I was so angry. Marty purposely didn’t warn me to watch the look of horror on my face. He laughed hysterically as his perfectly planned train wreck played out in real life! All I could do at this point is laugh too.

We were drenched in this conCOCtion …

I don’t remember the ride home but I do have a memory of my Mom asking where the hell did I go to be so sticky.

‘los; out