I didn’t wake up to my iPhone alarm with the Mandalorian theme song on Wednesday morning, June 28, 2023. In fact, my eyes burst open in pain as I could’ve sworn someone superheated an ice pick and rammed into the side of my right butt cheek.
At first I thought it was a cramp that I could walk off. So I swung my legs over the bed, and attempted to put my weight on it. A bolt of pain – lightning shot down my leg and into my brain. I crumbled against my bedroom wall as I tried to stop my fall. I immediately returned to bed.
I picked up my mobile phone, “There’s no way I’m working like this today.”
What’s Wrong with Me?
I laid there on my bed, but my mind was racing with questions.
- What happened overnight?
- Is this muscluar or neurological?
- Is it permanent, or temporary?
- Can I do anything for the pain?
- If I can get healthy, what can I do for prevention?
Thankfully, I already had some pain relief items: Biofreeze, and ibuprofen. I knew my friend, Audrey, would have ice packs. She’s a retired nurse so first aid items like that would be readily available.
Home, Sweet, Home
I explained to Audrey before I left I have a pain level scale from zero to KILL ME FAWKING NOW. I told her it was an 8.
So I lied.
I drove as I grimmaced in pain. After 20 woeful mintues, I made it ‘home’. Once I entered, it took Audrey 5.2 seconds to launch into nurse mode. We stragetized every method of easing my pain. After some pain medicine and hot tub, we managed to reduce it to a 5 – 6 on the pain scale with no range of motion, and I couldn’t put wieght on it.
After I muddled through dinner in a fog of pain and a few episodes of Ted Lasso, I crashed for the night. I was exhausted.
Troubled Thursday
As I stared down at my cup of java joy, I declared that I need medical assistance. She agreed, and mentioned the place to bring me. She would be happy to take me. I hadn’t cleaned up since Wednesday morning so I requested I return home to clean up then travel to help.
I struggled out to the Millennium Falcon, and drove home.
After I cleaned up, I let her know I was ready for transport. She gracioulsy drove to the Phoenix ER, and Medical Room. It was as-advertised. No imaging was needed to conlcude it was neurological. My sciatic nerve was inflamed, which meant very angry with me. It was inflamed because the tight muscles surrounding were binding it. They were tight from not stretching at all.
Great, I mentally sighed. Another self-inflicted wound.
How many times must it be told to me before I do it? My doctors, Dr Waltz, Dr Tello; my massage therapist, Michelle Wise; my previous partners, Jami, Deana, and even Cher; all encouraged me to stretch daily.
Once Audrey dropped me off at Brett’s, she also brought me medicine: prednisone, and methocarbamol. I prefer non-pill methods because it only masks the root issue, but at this time I was willing to do what it takes for pain reduction. Even my threshold of pain has it’s limits, hence the word threshold.
Friday’s Fun
I spent most of the day sleeping, and resting. I managed to wake up, shower, and dressed myself. I struggled through Arizona International Market and Safeway while ambling along like an extra from The Walking Dead.
Once home, I was determined to find an acupuncturist that accepts AETNA insurance and new patients. An hour or so later, I located one nearby that accepted the aforementioned items. The soonest they could see me was Sunday at 5pm.
Oi, I groaned. Two days from now.
Saturday In The Park
Before this injury of sorts, I signed up for a Geoaching Event at Veterans Oasis Park: Magic Maker. This event had a special digital souvenir attached to it so I was deteremined to attend.
At the event, the host demonstrated how to convert a birdhouse into a geocache. After the event I was hell-bent for leather to avenge a Did Not Find [DNF] about a .5 mile away in 115o F heat.
I found a few geocaches along the way, chatted with other cachers, and eventually found that DNF! I muttered and cursed to myself the entire mile and change. Later that day, my bro, Scotty G checked on me with In and Out Burger, and easy cook dinner for meatloaf and mashed potatoes. [MA! The MEATLOAF!]
Stretch Goals
The day of reckoning finally arrived. I was happy to make my way to this appointment. I thoroughly enjoy and believe in acupuncture. Even though each needle plunged into my skin felt like a a burning piece of metal. The tension release was fantastic! I could walk without a limp and pain.
Does it work, you ask?
Research has shown that acupuncture may be helpful for several pain conditions, including back or neck pain, knee pain associated with osteoarthritis, and postoperative pain. It may also help relieve joint pain associated with the use of aromatase inhibitors, which are drugs used in people with breast cancer.
~ National Institute of Health
Now my eyes are focused on yoga. That’s right! Yoga.
On the Costco Benefits website, there are many health benefits. One of which is discounted yoga-on-demand. I have a non-regular work schedule therefore I need the flexibility to do yoga when and where I can (see what I did there?) I also orered a starter yoga kit to really dive into the world of yoga.
I’m gonna continue with acupuncture while yoga. It seem like a great idea for stretch goals.
Namaste.
‘los; out
los, Fil-Am Renaissance Man 